The Quiet Reflections of a Very Industrious Mind

I sat for a while today and read our letters. I haven't been able to do that for a while. The emotion and energy was too much for my heart and you know, because I feel sometimes foolish when I cry, I didn't want to feel shame on top of everything else.

I started at the begining and read them all. All the love, all the desire, all the dreams and then I got to the last. How strange to know there was never a good bye between us when there was always so much else. Or maybe there wasn't more and that's the point. I see you and hear your voice when I read your words to me. I can hear you laugh and sigh. I can picture you in my mind getting sleepy and even bored. Did I bore you? You never said so.
I have so many questions. Are you well and happy? Do you think of me? Do you ever wonder if you made the right choice? I wonder those things too.
Mostly I was thinking about how much I want you to have a good life. I want you to be satisfied and filled and know what loving really means. I wish that the paper moon I put my hope in was real. I wish that life really was that easy.
Do you remember the letter you signed, "I am yours with much love and affection"?
I do.
Do you remember when I asked you to be careful?
Do you remember when I asked you to be sure?
I do.
Do you remember?
I do, everyday.

I know someday I'm going to say good bye. Your memories will be tied up with a pretty pink ribbon, just like your letters are. But today is not that day, maybe tommorrow...