Saturday, December 18, 2004

Whatever you do...

For God's sake, don't hurt me.

There are so many things in this life I have learned to forgive. Complacency, Laziness, Selfishness, Rudeness, Lateness... the list goes on. I have not however mastered the art of forgiving the lie. Any lie. Little white lies. Out-right lies. Lies that are unspoken waiting behind your eyes. You know what I'm trying to say. We have all been on the recieving end of a betrayal or a deception. It cuts, it can mortaly wound. Aimed at the jugular, it thrusts it's way into the self and the lifeblood of any friendship can drain away in a matter of seconds. It can happen quite by accident or it can be as premeditated as making a grocery list. Either way you're looking at manslaughter or murder one.

Understand, I'm admitting my fault. I am saying, for the whole world to hear, that I have a defecit of character. I try. There are times when I try harder than others to bandage the wounds, and there are times when I don't try at all. This is my failing.

I guess what I'm saying is, right now, if you wounded me in this way, I don't know which I would choose. I feel so often as I get older that I just don't have the capacitiy to bleed anymore without dying.

I'm frightened.

So, for God's sake, whatever you do...

Please don't lie to me.

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