Food for Thought

Food and I have a special relationship. It's a love/hate kind of thing. I love food, enjoy the sensuality of food. The texture, the smell the experience. Unfortuneately food is a trigger for me when I'm upset or stressed. I can easily binge when I'm sad or angry or deppressed and I can use food to medicate those feelings.
About a year ago I made the decision to not hurt myself with food any longer. The results have been pleasing. I look great, feel great, I'm dealing with much less shame. This, however, does not in any way mean that I never slip. I had a terrible run in with a batch of chocolate chip cookies about two weeks ago... In the whole picture though I am doing rather well, inspite of myself.

Abandonment issues are a big part of my emotional state the last several days. I've made some pretty big mistakes lately concerning relationships and trust and you know what I wanted to make it all better yesterday?

Mmmm....

Carne Asada. Loaded. Pico and Guacamole and a big fat quesadilla.

Yep, I loved it, it actually settled my nerves and made me feel better. How is that possible? I mean really, it's just food.